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My husband and I were married 20 years ago today. I shared how I found unexpected love on my personal blog. Like millions of couples, we included 1 Corinthians 13 as part of our ceremony. I love this passage of Scripture still, but I see it differently now that I have experienced real marriage–not the romance-novel kind. Here are verses 4-7 for real.

Love is patient.

It doesn’t explode when it discovers you’ve driven through the grass when the ground is wet. Well, actually it does, but it forgives.

Love is kind.

It doesn’t suggest you just take a shower or workout when you have the body-ache-and-ready-to-die kind of flu. Well, actually it does at first, but it learns. It offers to get you medicine instead.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It doesn’t suggest you aren’t qualified to play mixed doubles tennis and never will be. Well, actually it does, but at least it admits there are players much worse than you.

It does not dishonor others.

It doesn’t make you feel like a fool for buying the latest and greatest gadget that falls apart the first week. Well, actually it does, but it apologizes.

It is not self-seeking.

It doesn’t want to know what’s for dinner when you’ve had a hard day. Well, actually it does, but when it discovers how worn out you are, it takes you out to eat.

It is not easily angered.

It doesn’t get upset over a mess. Well, actually it does. It blows its top without getting the whole story, but than it laughs at itself when the explanation is given.

It keeps no record of wrongs.

It doesn’t remember the last time you ordered way too many pizzas for the party. Well, actually it does, but it’s willing to give you another chance.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It doesn’t snicker when it discovers you’re wrong about something you were certain of. Well, actually it does, but it gets you to laugh at yourself.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

It doesn’t let you learn the hard way, doesn’t stop believing in you, doesn’t divorce you. Actually it doesn’t.

I thank God for the 1 Corinthians 13 love He gave me 20 years ago and pray we have at least 20 more years of real life marriage. Happy Anniversary, Mark! Thanks for loving me.